Short Realizations

I don’t remember if I mentioned that I banged my right leg pretty hard when I fell on some rocks earlier this month. Walking and sitting is uncomfortable and I pay dearly for lunges or forward bends. So my practice has been abbreviated to mostly what some people call yin yoga and I call pulling my butt to the wall and letting my legs hang out against it.  You would think that I abandoned my family or have been shoplifting all my groceries if you could measure the amount of worry and guilt I feel for waiting to practice until walking and sitting feel normal. I worry about eating and drinking the same way as if I was practicing with effort for 90 minutes. I worry that when I get back to full practice I will be panting and heaving. I worry about binding, and all the other things that are asana but not yoga. SO this is my realization: any behavior, be it asana, or overeating, if you use it to alleviate anxiety without healing its source, can become addictive. Any activity that is used as a substitute for connection or for the feeling of being present, separates us from feeling fine about being alive without penalty or paying a price.


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