I am grateful for the 90 minutes when I am busy trying harmonize breath, movement and focus, but it would be a pretty fat lie to tell you that it carries over to the other hours of my day and my evening these days. It is not the holiday hallucination that affects me since that has bypassed me for almost 3 decades. I even was kind enough to realize that it was very okay to thread the moonday into thanksgiving, then do one of the David Swenson alternatives on Friday while marinating in 3 different kinds of grape varietals and the head thumping that combination produces if you happen not know about that. What has me feeling despondent and disheartened is that I acknowledge being ticked off, no-truly angry at finding out the shooter in Colorado Springs terrorizing Planned Parenthood, and the shooter who terrorized the Church in the Carolinas get to sit in the back of the squad car. and that the teenage Daquans, Travons, Michaels, and Tamirs who most urban middle school teachers or other members of their community could easily communicate with, are shot point blank without an ounce of compassion. I am actually angry that cops actually feel compassion sometimes, how fucked up is that? My brain is so tired of blaming the GOP, the NRA, the Media, The KKK, FOXNews and whoever else is an apologist for our barbaric culture. It does not do any good and it all starts feeling as inevitable as hazardous weather. So sorry that I cannot get Alfonso Cuaron’s film Children of Men out of my mind whenever I think of our collective near future.