Aaand I’m Back

Here’s a tip. Do not make dramatic pronouncements when you are jet lagged, about to get the flu, lost your passport and boarding passes at the Delhi airport, and have been crying daily for just about any reason for the past 14 days. I suspect that my friend Laura performed an obscure waspy ritual to put some sense into me, plus I got a really sweet comment from Lizzyyy who made me realize that maybe I left the impression that my “locking heads” with two non-like minded people had made me pick up my toys and leave. I will say that after a few days of reflection, I may have to admit that I am not as funny as I think I am and when I ask someone if they are someone else that I am dying to meet,  and they do not sound thrilled to be mistaken for that person even when I say that they both must be charming, and our subsequent encounters are shall we say “tainted” by my attempt at levity. The racist thing was fucked up no matter what, but thanks to that nonsense I ended up having the privilege of meeting the most fantastic young woman who is now my friend. I am going to not bring up my yoga practice because during every lecture I heard solid arguments for keeping your spiritual endeavors private in order to not go around in circles and get distracted by detours and rubbernecking. Like I said, this pilgrimage cleansed a lot of debris with tears. My jaw trembled every time I experienced kindness, generosity, or saw cheerful dispositions in what I perceived as a life of hardship. It trembled when I felt beauty. In India you do not just see beauty, you feel it. Strongly. You feel it all strongly. I could not even take a teasing. One day our physically and mentally exhausted leader asked me to pass the word that a meeting had been moved ahead. When we all gathered he said, your’e all here! I said, yes we are all very obedient.  and because he is exhausted, he then answered, I just said “you’re here” boy, your mother must have been something else!! and my chin started quivering because my mom now has dementia and refuses to bathe among other things, so now she really is something. My roommate Michelle said to me “you’ve lost weight sister” a day or two before I left. And I did. I left the weight of some accumulated grief and sorrow up there. Hari Om Tat Sat

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13 thoughts on “Aaand I’m Back

      • Well I have no idea if this will lead to any paid work or like future rent payments. So scary! I really don’t know what I’m doing here, but I’m the freak who wanted the adventure, apparently. But yes I was thrilled to be given the chance to try.

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  1. Welcome back☺️ Sort of…no new posts since this one. You must still be busy processing India. I know I would be ☺️ India is so heart opening. Sorry you won’t be posting about practice any more. My teachers always said it is fine to talk about your asanas but not the inner or metaphysical experiences they create. Yoga is scientific so I think they believe speaking about the physical mechanics of the poses is one thing but speaking about the spiritual practice is another. Perhaps tell us more about being a foodie 😃😃

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    • Hi Sarah, thanks for following the trail here. I have two other posts that I know others have been able to read, so I wonder if wordpress is doing something weird which of course is going to be a pain to figure out. Can you please let me know if you are able to access the two other posts? Funny you bring up practice since I am dying to talk about it today. I think that maybe after some point the asana and the mental state kind of hang out together and they are harder to analyze separately? WE shall see. I will only say here in this comment that what I thought was engaging a bandha was not really that, and instead it arrived today! I don’t know if it is visiting or here to stay.

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      • Ahhh found the others! Had to go searching for links so perhaps it’s that your blog site isn’t refreshing the posts? I’m no expert but that’s what it seems like☺️ And I think if you spoke a little bit about practice it wouldn’t be such a terrible thing. I certainly appreciate it😉

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